Scrivener relates that the "Needs Meme" actually has three parts. Besides the "needs' there are also "wants" and "gets." So lets go around again.
Scott wants Laci's money. [No, I actually have too much money as it is]
Scott wants to be outré but can't muster much beyond a misguided aesthetic of cool. [now that hurts]
Scott wants to have a fundraiser [Perhaps I do need more money.]
Scott wants to leave Las Vegas a winner. [gosh, more money]
Scott wants to be smart/funny. [but not at the same time]
Scott wants to put an end to the belief that American women have to wear a colorless, shapeless uniform to achieve liberation and equality [it has been one of my life goals]
Scott wants to wean the calves early again this year [the early bird gets the veal]
Scott wants to put your Slurpee machine on the Internet. [and I don't mean that as a euphemism]
Scott wants to have his Crusade and rue it, too
Scott wants to act like a man, but without sacrificing the arousing qualities one might desire in a pretty young lady [wow! the internets know me so well.]
And I get...
Scott gets her gold medal [in the transgendered Olympics, I suppose]
Scott Gets Down [and funky in the back room]
Scott gets sweet FA. [Sweet! What is FA?]
Scott gets a very good performance from Washington, as well as Fanning. [I always do bring out the best in Washington, but Fanning surprised me last night. He really did]
Scott gets way too jittery [especially after that fifth espresso]
Scott gets my vote [and I promise to keep my promises]
Scott gets one of Atlanta's nine sacks [and I bet Scrivener is wondering about the other eight]
Scott gets his first taste of zombie life when a hot co-ed gets a real taste of him [goodness me, I suppose I better be properly dressed for tomorrow's visit to campus]
Scott gets a chance to flex his Travolta-esque skills.
Scott gets acquainted with a cabezon [what the hell is a cabezon?]
Scott gets what he’s ultimately hoping for [ah, a happy ending]