The Long Spiral Downward
Take the quiz!
How far down the ladder do you have to go before you feel comfortable with a new president.
The Vice President Richard Cheney--Really, any impeachment of one is going to get the other.
Speaker of the House John Dennis Hastert--Yawn
President pro tempore of the Senate Ted Stevens--eek, drilling in the Arctic for sure.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice--the only way a black woman makes it to the oval office.
Secretary of the Treasury John Snow--He might pay attention to domestic issues.
Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld--worse case scenario.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales--torture allowed in grade school, and not just by nuns.
Secretary of the Interior Gale A. Norton--Yellowstone and Yosemite up for sale.
Secretary of Agriculture Mike Johanns--Ich bin ein Cornhusker.
Secretary of Commerce Carlos Gutierrez--can't choose him; Gutierrez was born in Cuba! Cubans can't be president.
Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao --Nice try, but Chao was born in Tawain. Asians can't be president.
Secretary of Health and Human Services Mike Leavitt--National Health Care, but only for the healthy and wealthy.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson--best quote "Being poor is a state of mind, not a condition."
Secretary of Transportation Norman Yoshio Mineta--the rest of your life will be just as pleasant as commercial air travel.
Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman--aka Dick Cheney
Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings--all gay cartoon characters locked away or worse, erased.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs Jim Nicholson--being president would mean less work than dealing with thousands of injured vets.
Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff--Oh, yes. Then we'd really be secure.